August 2005


This Year's Whidbey Island Race Week Story

      I just returned from a fantastic week of playing and racing at Whidbey Island Race Week! The race committee and the Oak Harbor Yacht Club did their usual outstanding job of hosting this annual event, and the sponsors (especially Capt Morgan) helped with the following story. Each year someone writes a little story using all the boat names, and this year with a little help from the Capt, I not only wrote one, but had the courage to get up and read it in front of the sailors gathered for the final awards night. I call it

"It Happened on Whidbey Island"
      "I want a divorce" said Mikey Carrera to his Trophy Wife, Katrinka Finklesplatt. "This is my Declaration of Independance!" I want to Frolic and be Fancy Free on this Midsummer night, to dance the Last Tango with my new California Girl, Charlemange Isabeau."
      "Life is Good!" exclaimed Katrinka, not nearly as Dazed and Confused as Mikey expected. " I can be very Dangerous When Wet, as my Bodacious Gladiator, Lucky Jim can attest! When I Squirt White Lightening on his Magic Button, we Shoot the Moon together. He knows I am quite the Party Girl Here and Now!"
      Mikey was Shattered! It was always HIS magic button she knew how to push! He had a Flashback to their first date, a Sunday Ticket to a movie and dinner at Allegro con Brio, one of the Ultimate 20 in the Michelin Guide. Mikey had a coupon for a Free Bowl of Soup, and together they shared the Goose n Duck, garnished with Loose Nuts. Then of course it was Apple Pi ( a la mode) for dessert. There was plenty of food left over for Katrinka's Lunch Box the next day.
      After dinner, they proceeded to the theater for the premier of "Shrek vs Godzilla in the Myst" an epic they had waited for for weeks to finally arrive. It starred Gayle Force, a Surfer Girl as the lovely heroine, and Amicus, who needs no last name, as the dashing professor who Rockets to her rescue.
      While waiting in line, they ran into Katrinka's Uncle Bill and his date, a young woman with Snake Eyes, known only as Surfer Rosa.
      The movie was set in Storyville, a small town on the coast of the Shagatsea. The climactic battle scene took place in the town T-Squared, where the two contenders vied for the Conquest -1 of the world, and, - 2 of the galaxy by Breakin Wind and causing widespread Panic in the streets.
      Ah, those were the days! Now all Mikey wants to do is drive his new Jabiru Ondine to the Club Symbiosis and drink Vaca Locas all night long while daydreaming of hooking up with Mora Pangaea ( a girl of questionable virtue, who could Synge the Nunnehi off a Jayhawk!) She would take him outside, after first getting a handstamp for Re-Entry, and perform tricks you couldn't believe with her Waterwings!
      Misha Tantivy, in the meantime was hearing her Cat Sass her on the other side of town. "Bandit!" she cried! " You Feisty Goat! You are my little snookums, my Skookumchuck! How can you be so full of Miss Conduct? Now I must take you to Dr Fran, the vet, driving with a Ledfoot, to have your Pulelehua removed. She will have your Gizmo taken care of with no More Uff Da than a Kilo of Corvo!
      "Oh, no!" thought Bandit. "I must quickly begin Locomotion to escape this Xtreme Jaded owner!My Mojo is in serious Jeopardy! That does not look like a White Cloud on my horizon! Maybe if all my friends make a huge Wyewacket I can escape in all the confusion! That shouldn't be Rocket Science!"
      In still another part of town, The Boss was drifting down the Rubicon in an inner tube. As he drifted, he daydreamed about upcoming poker games with Deuces Wild and playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide how much to bet. As he floated past the Memorial to the Unknown Sail Number, he doffed his cap and said a little prayer for all the poor sail numbers lost at sea. As he continued on his journey, he drifted over a Manta Ray lazily going about it's business below him. Then all of a sudden, he came Eye Eye with a shark! "Holy Kowloon!" He exclaimed as he paddled briskly through the Surt to the shore. He was so focused he didn't even realize he was nearly run over by a Boat with No Name! He beached his rubber craft and as he hiked through the mud to his car, he realized that not only was he sunburned, but he also had a Blackfoot! The Mudlark sang as he celebrated his narrow escape.
      "What? A Tripp!" He thought to himeslf as he climbed into his car to leave. And from the back of his seat, quoth the Son of Raven " nevermore."

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Deb McAdams
Crew on Jeopardy
WIRW 2005

      Now that's a story And people are lining up for Harry ?Potter. Bob's got to start giving out a trophy for such phenomenal prose. On second thought, you can't wear a trophy. One ?48° North Sweatshirt is in the mail. To quote one of our more sophisticated humorists; I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Way to "get 'er done!

I-68 Bad Experience

      The new I-68 program has turned into a nightmare for my family. My web research involving rbaw.org and uscis.gov took a wrong turn and had me set an appointment two weeks out at the Cusoms office at 12500 South Tukwila Blvd. My wife and I spent at least an hour each trying to get 3 passport photos. The bad news is that passport photos come in pairs. If you need three, you have to buy 4. (cost $32 for passport photos for my wife and I).
      After rushing down from North Seattle, paying for parking at the USCIS building (cost $2), waiting in line to get a number, we finally made it to a second waiting area. When our number was called the customs agent told us, "we don't process that form here, we will have to go to a port of entry". I tried to explain that he was thinking of the Nexis program. Unfortunately, he was right and I was wrong. He gave me the address of the proper location (7277 Perimeter Rd, Rm 116). Too bad it was 2:50 pm and the office closed at 3 pm. We called the Seattle customs office, they put us on hold for about 10 minutes, we had a 5 minute conversation with the customs officer before we were disconnected. We called back and no one answered the phone. Oh Joy!
      That was last week. Today I tried to schedule an appointment with the Everett customs office. The officer returned my call with the bad news. I need three passport photos for each of my 3 children (cost $48). I haven't even paid to fill out the form yet and I've already shelled out $80 plus tax! And this for a form that will expire on December 31?
      Waiting in line at the customs dock is sounding a lot more appealing. At least I will be on my boat instead of running all over Seattle with three kids in tow. I'm sure many of your readers know how much fun it is to run errands with the kids.

Sincerely,
John Barry

      Sorry you had all that trouble. Doesn't sound like the "in and out in 20 minute" report we had before. Passport photos are a ripoff. Remember, it says "passport quality photo". We did ours on our computer, you just have to get the size right and use good paper.
      You left us hanging, let us know what you wind up doing. Personally I tend to agree with your last paragraph about waiting on the boat instead of in an office, and that's not mentioning "three kids in tow."

Inati Bay Signs Changed

      Thank you for keeping the public informed about Inati Bay. Below is the latest news release on the issue of anchoring rights.

July 5, 2005

Boaters for Inati Bay Public Anchorage is pleased to report that the signs on the beach at Inati Bay on Lummi Island in Whatcom County no longer claim PRIVATE ANCHORAGE. Boaters for Inati Bay Public Anchorage applaud this change. The privately held tidelands and uplands at Inati Bay leased by the Bellingham Yacht Club are posted; the anchorage, however, is open to all.

The Washington State Department of Natural Resources has released its ownership analysis of aquatic lands in Inati Bay. The full report is available on our website www.inatibay.org or from David Roberts at . The conclusion of the report reads, in part, "... the bedlands of Inati Bay have always been and continue to be owned by the citizens of the State."

Thomas W. Evans
Boaters for Inati Bay Public Anchorage
P.O. Box 1204
Bellingham, Washington 98227
or Web contact:

San Juan Virgin

      I just finished a cruising course which included a two day cruise to a State Park but I'm still nervous about taking my Cat 27 to the San Juans. Any ideas for a beginner?

Pedro Lawrence

      Go for it! Sounds like you've put in some good learning time. My best piece of advice is take your time. Just plan on going to one or two of the more popular islands that have lots of buoys, or a marina. If you figure it will take you an hour to get somewhere, plan for two. Get some guide books and take a look at the "Five Days in the San Juans" article and this issue for some good ideas. Watch the tides, currents, and make sure to sunscreen your ears.

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